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in_the_zone03

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Another Year Has Gone By Another Lesson Learned. [05 Dec 2005|03:33pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

"People can take everything away from you, but they can never take away your truth..."

I think in 2005, the truth was let out of the bag and friendships were tested and people learned that they werent as close as they thought. I know that I am a different person than i was a year ago. I am less uptight about certain things but i have become guarded. people like to spread lies about you and assume certain things about you. this may sound childish but if i had the power to kill people i would so do it. I am so happy that i am not friends with people who think they are "EMO" or think that they are the shit. So i guess im not a freak.

But I am grateful to have friends like Cedric, Milton, Katie, Jeremy, Rob and etc.

My Song for this year is gonna be "My Prerogative".

it fits well with my transition and my recent decision to perform again and also what my plans are after graduation. I am not going to be in michigan for too much longer. so i am very happy about that.

1 comment|post comment

Bitch Please Can You Handle This Truth [17 Nov 2005|11:14am]
[ mood | pissed off ]

Okay i am going to be very blunt here. HEATHER WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM....insert paragraph:

"I want to get tested for STDs cuz I should have done it a long time ago....before Frank and I started being intimate cuz that's just not fair to him especially when......: I was in a relationship with a boy who turned out to be gay and was having butt sex.... with other boys..."

lets air some laundry will quick. who went up to MSU and hooked up with a guy who ate ur pussy out and whatever else. U DID. i was 100% faithful with your bitch ass. dont air anything about me in your journal. stop acting like a bitch ass hoe and stop talking shit cause you're not cute at all. I am not gay and i am bi get your facts right. i have been with 4 other girls since you so get over it. keep my name out of your mouth and stop talking shit like ur some kind of hurt little lost girl. im tired of your shit.

before u start maybe we should look at ur record and see how big of a hoe u are. also i got test twice when i was with u and u know that. maybe u have a guiulty consieous on what you did so....can u handle this truth?? if not go get a tissue please. dont get drunk in parks too and expect someone to get u at 1 in the morning.

you have serious issues and u need to shut the fuck up

okay im done. THANKS CEDRIC

4 comments|post comment

[04 Nov 2005|02:38pm]
[ mood | determined ]

Hey Guess I dont like you anymore. that is just it. u failed the test. i officially hate my ex girlfriend. its a respect thing and she doesnt have it so i hate you. i am just in lost of words right now.


have fun on thursday for the canadian excursion. and please dont expect to hang out with him anymore cause now he has a real friend who is gonna be there for him no matter what.





***After great news from a source I know there are some people on my friends list who just cant get over themselves. so, this is it i am completely done with you all of you who have a problem with my life. If you cant expect it then we're arent friends. I've tried time and time again. SO FUCKING SORRY THAT IM NOT EMO. SO SORRY THAT I DONT LIE AND HURT A FRIEND. so this it my message to you so if you are still on my friend list 24 hours from now ill personally take you off.***

7 comments|post comment

Fired Up!! [23 Oct 2005|01:50pm]
[ mood | distressed ]

Last night was a bad night. I am so fucking stress out by people and how the treat me. Like my one friend hasnt said one educated thing to me and is full of who is skinny which he think is supreme and its like are u fucking serious. then my other i really dont know about anymore and that scares me. he gets caught and he doesnt realize what is going on and he just wanna have fun. and to me thats not cool when ur friend meaning me is crying in the car and u go leave with some guy. to me that is fucking shitty. so what is a boy to do? i dunno you tell me. and i feel like my bf everytime he calls me these i feel like he is gonna break it off i dunno. and i am just so sick of everything right now and i feel like i can explode at any moment.

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A Reason For Goodbye! [12 Oct 2005|12:40pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

If you read this, even if we do not speak often,
Comment with one memory of me.
It can be anything you want, good or bad.
Just as long as it happened.
Then post this on your livejournal to see what other people remember about you.

9 comments|post comment

Friends Only [24 Sep 2005|11:44am]
Since there is faggot ass drama at emu...this journal is friends only so bye bitches.
2 comments|post comment

It's Been A While and It Feels Nice; NEW SONG I WROTE [21 Sep 2005|11:09am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

Okay ive been keeping this one under wraps until now...i really love this song a lot. i hope u guys like it to COMMENT BACK:

::SpOken::
notice me?
this body
this mind
are you ready?

I did it again

Here I go again falling fast
and i dont know how to slow down
he gave me this look like he wanted to play
i need to get in the mood cause ive just begun
this is so like me, i am all over him like nothing else
its kinda cool and i am about to go crazy right now

I'm Screamin' For Your Love
Screamin' For Some Attention yeah Baby
but i keep on dancing with you
can you feel what I'm feelin babe?

Oh Yeah, Baby Oh, Yeah Screamin
Oh Yeah, Baby Oh, Yeah Screamin

So i get off you and i know you want more
its so addictive its just not like me
and you ask me for my name and age
and i tell him why does it matter yeah.

I'm Screamin' For Your Love
Screamin' For Some Attention. yeah Baby
but i keep on dancing with you
can you feel what I'm feelin babe?

Screamin For Your Love (L.O.V.E.)
Baby Can't U See Me Yeah Yeah
It's All Up to you(Y.O.U)
can you feel what I'm feelin babe?

Oh Yeah, Baby Oh, Yeah Screamin
Oh Yeah, Baby Oh, Yeah Screamin

::Music Breakdown; Whisper::
baby will you ever care for me
i need u i want u love me please( notice me)
give me pleasure right now
baby will you ever care for me(god)
i need u i want u love me please
give me pleasure right now(yeah)
baby will you ever care for me
i need u i want u love me please(cant u see?)
give me pleasure right now

I'm Screamin' For Your Love(L.O.V.E.)
Screamin' For Some Attention. yeah Baby
but i keep on dancing with you(Y.O.U)
can you feel what I'm feelin babe?

Screamin For Your Love (L.O.V.E.)
Baby Can't U See Me Yeah Yeah
It's All Up to you(Y.O.U)
can you feel what I'm feelin babe?

Screamin' For Your
Screamin' For Your(what?)
Screamin' For Your
Love Yeah Yeah
Screamin' For Your
Screamin' For Your
Screamin' For Your
Love Yeah Yeah

I did it again

1 comment|post comment

Another Day Without A Lover..... [18 Sep 2005|12:52pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Right now i am at CMU had to get away from EMU. I am still looking for money love and happiness. I am so hung over now. for this day forth i am buckling down for school. i really need to put my shit into gear. also, why am i not selfish until people screw me over? it seems to me that nice guys finish last.

15 comments|post comment

Yo Yo Who That B? [14 Sep 2005|05:08pm]
[ mood | devious ]

Hmmm....someone has been acting stupid at my old college. I love hearing what is going on and how people are just fed. seriously i think i have the power of preminition. I saw this coming before everyone else.

hmmm:

1.Chris
2.Cedric
3. Liz

wow....who is number four gonna be? i can only guess i see the end in 1-2 months then you will be in the everytime/shadow mood. stop being a weirdass person and see that you are losing your friends. wow burned.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

1 comment|post comment

Death Becomes Me. [12 Sep 2005|04:16pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

I am not liking EMU at all, i am all alone in this 10x11 room with no one to care about me. I have been depressed and ive been crying for days. sooner or later i might be gone, and i wont be able to return. why cant i be in love or be happy. i have nothing to look forward to at all.

...............

3 comments|post comment

Eastern Michigan University [06 Sep 2005|01:56am]
[ mood | crushed ]

Hey Guys i am in my dorm so if u want to call me my number is 734-487-5971. also, my address is 824 Pittman Hall, Ypsilanti Michigan 48197. i love my suitemate totally cool. if u want to stop by please call me please. some of u know ur restrictions...so dont come over if i dont really well never mind im not repeating myself.

2 comments|post comment

If I Get One More Thing On My Plate! [31 Aug 2005|11:40am]
[ mood | stressed ]

okay this week has been fucking hell i didnt know how much u have to pack for a dorm room. also i have lost weight so im down to 190 from being 240 4 months ago. so i dont have that many clothes so i have to go shopping. on top of that my car has been dead for a week and a half so now its fix cause ive been working on it...weird right. and then i got some bad news that some of my family members are missing because of the Hurricane Katrina...the family manor in New Orleans and Mississipi has been destroyed. So i dont know what the hell is going on down there so i may have to leave town for a few days. And once again someone is stealing someone elses potential love interest not happy about that. still not talking to certain people. certain exes are trying to get close...i just dont want to see them cause i dont want to feel vulnerable. so basically its stress. but hey i get my dell today...wow.

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FUCK! [26 Aug 2005|07:10pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

WHY IS IT WHEN I NEED PEOPLE THEY ARE NOT THEIR...HEY SILLY GIRLS GET OVER UR FUCKING BOYFRIENDS AND TRY BEING A FUCKING FRIEND!

SIMPLY SAID.

2 comments|post comment

A New Beginning...A New Chapter [26 Aug 2005|05:53am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

you know its time for school when it gets cold outside and you start getting sick again lol. i am only 15% done packing...i kinda dont want to do it. if i do pack up...i know when i come back that i am not gonna be same person. i have changed this summer, im less what the word inhibitied and i love being in the moment then sitting on my ass watching t.v. at someone house. i move in next weekend. i just cant believe it. i got my new computer now...well not now.and i am getting my webcam so i should be making a lot of money soon.

7 comments|post comment

OMG I MET KELLY CLARKSON!!!!!!!!!!!! [18 Aug 2005|02:24am]
[ mood | calm ]

THE FUCKING CONCERT WAS AWESOME...WE WENT BACK STAGE AND MET HER HOT ASS MALE BACKGROUND SINGER GORGEOUS. AND WE MET JASON AND THEN WE MET KELLY OMG SHE IS THE NICEST PERSON IN THE WORLD. WE HAD 4 ROW FROM THE STAGE!!!!

DURING THE CONCERT KELLY SANG HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THIS GIRL NAMED SYDNEY THAT WAS SO COOL...JEALOUS. SHE ONLY CHANGED HER CLOTHES 3 TIMES AND WHEN BEHIND THESE HAZEL....CAME ON SHE HAD ON THIS WEDDING DRESS AND WAS ROCKING IT OUT. I HAVE TO GET THE PICTURES FROM ROB...BUT HE IS TOO BUSY FUCKING DARREN AGAIN...IM NOT HAPPY ABOUT THAT

I SERIOUSLY HAVE JEALOUSY ISSUES....

KELLY CLARKSON'S NEXT SINGLE IS BECAUSE OF U

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OMG IM GOING TO KELLY!!!!! [17 Aug 2005|02:43am]
[ mood | artistic ]

well jeremy bought me a ticker to go see kelly. which is awesome so its me, rob and jeremy that are going to see that sexy bitch. rob also tickets backstage because he is talking to darren again and we probably gonna meet her which is so cool!!!!!

DONT CHA WISH U WERE FRIENDS WITH ME? DONT CHA LMAO

g2g

1 comment|post comment

The Real Life Laguna Beach...Or Wayne County [11 Aug 2005|02:02am]
[ mood | Chaotic ]

seriously the people that i know and all should have our own laguna beach style show. it would be a classic. cause know its like everyone is making sure people arent at places or going to the same party. i think its funny. what should our theme song be LMAO. hopefully there isnt a clash of the groups and we are staring each other down like they do on the show. lmao.

oh well

well there one day till my birthday...YEAH! So far i have coming to the dinner

Jessica
Rob
Maya
Teresa
Jeremy
Dan
Steven
Jeremy
Katie
Kathleen
Tara... and a few other people

doing the day time i am hanging with cedric since he cant make it to the dinner which sucks but its all good.

Shit what else? Lmao

if you want to come to the dinner and go to necto call me tomorrow night my phone should be back on.

i seriously think that i am forgetting something i wanted to say....oh well i will type it later.

just one other thing:

I AM TURNING 20 NOT 10 SO U DONT HAVE TO ASK PERMISSION...U CAN DO WHAT U WANT.

2 comments|post comment

She Has Fallen From Grace... [07 Aug 2005|07:02pm]
[ mood | confused ]

Whoa..i cant believe 2005 is half way over with. things have been really different this summer. alot more exposure to the truth of things at work lol. I am starting to pack up some things in my room so i can get ready for the move. and then i might be painting my room with my mom and im selling my furniture probably as well. god i cant believe im turning 20 in four days.

I am taking a break from work and getting my school stuff taken care of because that is what needs to be taken care of. Socially, i am...well just say i really dont know what to say lmao. u have to be careful what u say in here before the whole world might take offense. but maybe people in your life were supposed to be there for a minimal time. and just maybe learn how to breathe without the constant pressure. I have to take things with stride thats all. i have met some cool people this summer..and im doing a lot travelling.

to the response to rumors im just repeating things that i heard. i did not start any rumors and the people who started them have been talked to about it already.

Anyways...trying to keep this positive.

MY BIRTHDAY PARTY:

August 11th- August 13th

August 11th is going be a small gathering at the bar nothing to big.

the 12th is the big show

We are having dinner at 6 at Applebee's maybe 7

then we heading over to necto then a after party.

the 13th hanging with close friends...

Oh yeah my phone will be back on Thursday or Friday...lol.

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Whatever...Next Please!?!?! [02 Aug 2005|04:54am]
[ mood | bored ]

well...ive been hanging with rob since thursday. i spent the night on sunday and we hung out all day monday. he is a great friend for the most part even though he may make me feel like shit sometimes. but what i can do. none of my old friends will go out to the clubs or hang out. like i hang out with Katie, Jeremy and Jessica. cause we can leave off where we started and nothing is weird. Like Jessica its like i can call her up and we are still where left off. with some people....they are just not good people anymore and just UGH.

This whole summer made me realize that a lot of bitches are fucking fake and if they dont call u then ur not friends with them. like my whole thing is...if you are not there for me emotionally, physically and everything then u cant be friends with me. cause im there for people when they are lonely, having fun, pissed off and everything. and i count five people who are there for me:

1. Jessica who is my best friend
2. Katie who is amazing and understanding
3. Jeremy who is also amazing and understanding
4. Rob ever though we are exactly alike
5. Duane & Cedric...they are kinda half but not really.

it didnt use to be like this which is said...people picked certain things and made it like this. cause i call at least once a day. maybe i shouldnt and just erase every memory of people in my past life. cause they dont care they think about themselves and how "much" they have now. like seriously me and rob were talking about this...we can have our own laguna beach cause so many people are just MEAN.

like im looking at the broader picture...im turning 20 in 10 days...who have been there for me this whole summer? hmm...maybe they should stay with me and all the 13-19 year old chris friends should just go...cause ur not worth it. im sick of always being the one making the first move. and im annoyed...cant talk to u in person and not even on the phone. we arent friends...just think about it.

Well my birthday is on the 12th...
my parties are

Aug 11th at Menjos and Ineundo
Aug 12th dinner at Red Robin or Applebee's then head over to Necto
Aug 13th Goldcoast.

DO NOT BRING PEOPLE I DONT KNOW OR CARE FOR...

THINGS I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY:

WEBCAM- CEDRIC U PROMISE
Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince
The New Coldplay, Missy Elliot, Ciara, Cds
Gas Cards
if u buy me clothes make sure its a small shirt not large...im not fat like some people Oops! ha!
ANY BRITNEY SPEARS STUFF THAT I DONT HAVE ALREADY I NEED TO DECORATE MY ROOM
BED BATH AND BEYOND OR TARGET CERTIFICATES...FOR MY DORM +p
Aqua teen hungerforce dvds

hopefully people will come to my parties...i will love u forever

hopefully people will read this...say eww all u want. i dont care...time to make my myspace.com account so i can make fun of pathetic people...

tomorrow...i am hanging out with Jessica and we are going to be on Campus....god its cool that her and i will be a sidewalk apart. this school year is gonna be chaotic.

ive met three new guys....

Terry who lives near Novi...very nice guy...but is a bit older...ask me.
Then there is Eric very sweet guy who is 19
and then there is Ryan who is HOTTT 29 and is amazing kisser but rob says he is drug attic...well he works for rock finacial "DAVID HALL". and lives in Novi..

YES NO GUYS WITH THE LETTERS J THANK GOD. I AM NEVER GOING OUT WITH ANOTHER J AGAIN...TOO MUCH PAIN.

COMMENT AWAY IF UR NOT TOO BUSY PEOPLE

ACTION!!!!

4 comments|post comment

im a dirtty whore... [30 Jul 2005|05:08am]
[ mood | drunk ]

so i just got back from canada and im drunk off my ass stroking my cock senseless and once again rob steals this guy i like oh well i made out and fucked this girl named amanda oh well. this whole summer has been fucked up...i dont hang out with my friends anymore and they are in ther own world. maybe i dont belong to these people anymore and maybe im just a shadow oh well. im just waiting for aids to kills me and i can be gone right people who hate me so much (scraft). god im so fucked up right now i can barely talk. i dont really talk to anyone anymore...its just rob and ummm stephen....maybe everyone hates me...oh well i will die soon look at this aim message im A WHORE:

meagainstthemusic03: hey baby
one_nautical_mile : Hi
meagainstthemusic03: sup?
one_nautical_mile : nadda....about to crash.....u?
meagainstthemusic03: DRUNK LMAO
meagainstthemusic03: i want to see cock so much right now lol
one_nautical_mile : that was me last night
one_nautical_mile : right on
meagainstthemusic03: i just want to be taken adcantiage oft right now
meagainstthemusic03: cock up my ass
one_nautical_mile : lol
meagainstthemusic03: fucking me until he shoots all over my ass
meagainstthemusic03: im fucking gone lmao
one_nautical_mile : right on
one_nautical_mile : lol
meagainstthemusic03: lol
meagainstthemusic03: im not like this
meagainstthemusic03: u got a cam
meagainstthemusic03: ...lol
one_nautical_mile : no man....sorry
meagainstthemusic03: its okay
meagainstthemusic03: so when r u gonna fuck me
one_nautical_mile : ?????
meagainstthemusic03: lol sorry im blunt
meagainstthemusic03: lol
one_nautical_mile : it's cool
meagainstthemusic03: im just fucking horny lmao
meagainstthemusic03: outrageous, my sex drive
one_nautical_mile : lol
meagainstthemusic03: do u want me?
one_nautical_mile : yeah....we are so far though
meagainstthemusic03: come down here and u can have this ass as ur prize of wayne county
one_nautical_mile : lol
meagainstthemusic03: the tightest ass u will ever experience
meagainstthemusic03: cause everyone else is loose like pamela anderson
one_nautical_mile : you are wasted
one_nautical_mile : lmao
meagainstthemusic03: yea
meagainstthemusic03: lol
meagainstthemusic03: u kno u love the attention
one_nautical_mile : it's all good. I do have to go to bed though man
meagainstthemusic03: yeah same here
meagainstthemusic03: i have work at 10
meagainstthemusic03: hopefully ims ober
one_nautical_mile : yeh
meagainstthemusic03: or else im in trouble
meagainstthemusic03: any xxx pics
one_nautical_mile : no man.....sorry
meagainstthemusic03: its cool
meagainstthemusic03: it shows u have class
meagainstthemusic03: i like that
meagainstthemusic03: lol
one_nautical_mile : well I am off to bed man. Go beat off or something
one_nautical_mile : lol
meagainstthemusic03: im doing it right now

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